I finally arrived...
Having another lifestyle (a 7am - 7pm or 11pm - 7am), started to rob me from my creative mindset. I wasn't able to exercise my imagination to the fullest capacity and I would always put ideas aside and leave them sitting in my journal - weeks turned into months, months turned into years and the years turned into 4 years. 4 years of being lost in silence and living the "American Nightmare (as I would call it)" society has programed us to do while trying to dig myself out of debt from student loans and other poor life choices I made in my early 20's. It was time.. time to change something about my life and stop falling back into the footsteps I did not like stepping in.
Getting back to my journal method, allowed me to get back to the ideas I had written down the previous years. With the ideas I did get a chance to get into, I would always half ass them and still get noticed for the persona & originality behind it, some way or some how. Those moments started to add up to me in 2014, as well as being tired of lying to myself. I wasn't happy with anything I was doing and it was showing in everything I was doing.
It was either drop everything and go full throttle or don't do it at all. I've come to terms that there are no gray areas for me, its either yes or no, black or white, this or that... no in betweens ( I guess that's the Taurus in me for needing stability and consistency in my life). Everyone had their opinions on me doing my previous career part-time and then do the fashion on the side; but unfortunately for me, when I have so much love and passion for something I want to give 1000% attention to that and only that. And that's exactly what I did these last couple of years. Cut off a nice portion of my friends, cut off all the unnecessary things I was doing and opened up my journal and started from ground zero at the age of 28. NO short changing myself, those days have come to an end.
No one really knows the answer, we are all developing, learning and evolving from life. Whether you like what I am doing, how I'm doing it or confused by my route - it shouldn't matter. Everyone's story on how they got somewhere is different from the next one. That's why I appreciate life so much now. One of my professors from Fashion Institute of Technology, saw me flustered at one of my jobs in NYC and stopped me and told me " ..At the end of the day, they hired you for your eye! Not who your connected to, not who you worked with or how intelligent you are but your creative eye. So get the job done because all THEY see is the end result ." The end result..... its probably the most sought out phase everyone cares about. I have absolutely no academic knowledge in art design, or branding but the company that I work for still hired me as the Director of First Impressions because they saw my potential and the end result of how I come up the outcome they were looking for. I've only been working there for 4/5 months and things have been paving the way for me to be in the element I feel most qualified in.
Now that I have accomplished my goals from my vision board this year:
- Published in 3+ different magazines
- Five loyal clients
- Building brand awareness for M | K A R A
- Moved (even though I had another state but I still moved)
- Career Change that works hand & hand with my fashion venture.
I feel like things are on the up and up for me, and to think if I had worked part-time as a nurse, I don't think I would have been at this point - not sure where I would even be living to be truthfully honest. Only a year of professional styling and I feel like I'm just now getting warmed up and only time will tell.
Take the time out and get tuned with your happiness and do what you need to do to maintain your happiness. The only person that knows the best answer for you is you... not them. You will go through trial and error but that's all apart of life and growth. At the end of it all, I love the trial and errors I have gone through, it pushed me develop this website myself, it pushed me think spontaneous on a look I had no experience one - it pushed me to my happiness. I feel more alive than before, I'm glad I have finally arrived to my talent.....my superpowers, and it shows in everything that I do.